When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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