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let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Randomize
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