note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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