he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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