i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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