I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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