I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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