I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize