It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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