During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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