I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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