I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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