and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize