Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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