You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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