Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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