if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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