a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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