The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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