I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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