im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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