i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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