if you like me you must not know who I am
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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