Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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