Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize