If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize