you lied. pity sex is amazing.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize