at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So much rum. So many feels.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize