I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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