he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize