So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize