Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize