I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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