i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you win again, gameday.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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