Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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