Will you blow on my dice?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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