Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize