is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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