my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize