if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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