i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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