i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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