Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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