you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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