dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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