Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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