Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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