Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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