Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize