she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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