I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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